Chapter 2

(IS YOUR SON ENOUGH?)

***(In this day and age children can get lost in the shuffle of life.  Dealing with multiple problems everyday and then trying to deal with your children's needs and wants especially when kids work against what you are trying got get accomplished or blaming you, can be a draining responsibility.   Whenever you are not in a healthy relationship, it is really easy to take out your frustration onto your children.  This often starts in anger and ends in abuse.  But it can also be transferred through over protection, higher or even lower expectations.  Children are their own separate entities but this is often overlooked.  God has a separate plan for them even if it is an extension of your plans it is still different--remember and respect this.  They are not a little you or a little him.  Whether you are in a good relationship or not, remember to keep the kids important!)***

Heavyhearted Teri goes upstairs.  Thanking Tom and Jonathon who are on their way down with Christopher.  As they pass by, Teri sees Christopher with a different light.  He looks angelically sweet and innocent.  She knows that she has not given him all of the time, energy and love that she can give.  He deserves so much more and she vows silently that she will give him just that.

Heading for the shower, Teri catches a quick glance of her reflection startled, she has to quickly walk back to get a better look at what she sees.  As she approaches, instantly she rolls and shuts her eyes, then shakes and lifts her head, "Oh my God!  Time and preparation is needed to look this bad!"  For the first time she sees what she looks like and it is awful!  Shaking her head judgingly, she looks away from her reflection, goes over to the shower, and turns on the water. 

Although her reflection is still in her mind, her thoughts begin to float back onto Sister Kelly's words.  She takes off her non-matching black house shoe from one foot and her light blue loafer from her other foot.  Then she takes off the one and only sock she is wearing.  Pulling off her grey sweat pants, and her comfy oversized hot pink hooded sweater then her undergarments and hops in the shower.    

After enjoying a long and hot shower, Teri quickly gets herself presentable and heads downstairs.  Sister Kelly is praying and rocking Christopher who is asleep in her lap.  Teri goes into the kitchen to put the empty bottles away.  But to her surprise they are already in the trash and the place has been tidied up a bit.  Thankful, Teri comments, "I really appreciate all of your help Sis. Kelly!  You have really been a blessing to me in my despair."  Teri goes back in to the living room and gives her a winning smile.  Sister Kelly looks up and lovingly smiles back.  "I'm ready to go if you are," Teri says as she walks over and picks up Christopher to put him in his removable baby car seat. 

When she has finished, Sister Kelly gently grabs her hands.  "Teri we should pray over your house before we leave so that you'll come home to a blessed home and not be so easily tempted again."  Glad, Teri agrees.  After Sister Kelly walks through the house anointing it and praying, they all get in the car and drive to the retreat destination.  The ride is serene and quiet, until Teri realizes that she can use the time to ask some of the questions that has been popping up in her head.  "Oh I have been reading the book of Genesis.  Well, actually I have been listening to it all this week.  I have so many questions."  Right then Christopher starts to whimper because of his various cuts and stitches.  He does not wake up, but he lets everyone know that he is not very comfortable back there.  "Yesterday you said that you have verses for anyone who has a son and wants to know how they should raise them.  I know that we are almost there but can you give me something that I can work on till we get back together?"

Sister Kelly nods understanding Teri's urgency and need.  "Beloved, the greatest thing that you can do with your child is love him.  Be aware of his needs and wants.  Watch what he does, and why he does it.  Notice his frustrations and praise his triumphs.  I know this sounds simple and it can even be insulting, but you will be surprised just how much we parents ignore the signs of our children's personality.  As you get to know your child better, be aware of what you do in front of him.  He will mimic you, so make sure that you are following God's path for your life.  Pray and read your bible in front of him.  Show him how to pray and encourage him as he mimic's all of your behaviors.  One day he will surprise you."

Seeing their destination, Teri slows down a bit trying to stretch her time with Sister Kelly.  "When he gets slightly older encourage him to take on a leadership role, like ask him to pray for both of your food.  Read the bible together and ask him what he will do.  When he is old enough ask him thought provoking questions like; ‘Have you heard from God today?  ‘How can you show someone that God loves them?’  And reaffirm him as often as you can that he is a man—and not just a man, but a man of God!  Say things like; you are a man after God's own heart, or you are wise like Solomon.  Teri, I know that you have an open heart and want to do good, but remember all that has been said needs to be rooted in you.  Make the new things that you have heard personal to you so that you can cultivate them and help them grow.  Do this quickly or they will become a distant memory.  Take time to read your bible for yourself and allow it to come to life for you, like the book of Genesis."

They get out of the car and head to the lodge.  "Oh and some of the scriptures that you need are written on the board.  They are the last five verses.  Stop by the church at any time that I am there and we can go over any other questions and I can give you some more verses to meditate on."  Despite everything, they are not late.  Everyone is still eating and socializing when they enter the conference room.

The various speakers are very good.  The messages they are providing is in tune with their theme "Women of Valor.” The speakers are supplying a lot of great points, some of which Teri writes down, but nothing grabs at Teri's heart.  Before the last speaker finishes, Teri packs up Christopher and her stuff and proceeds to leave.  Outside, in the sunlight Teri closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath, when she hears her name.  She turns around and sees Ginny.  "I told you I’m gonna seek this beautiful baby out."  Teri puts the transportable car seat down and Ginny bends down playing and kissing all over Christopher, including his bandage, causing him to giggle.  She finally gets up and thanks Teri. 

"You really have yourself a blessing in that child.  He is just so happy to be happy.  So how did you like everything?  It is running a little long, but the message from each speaker is just so important.  We were suppose to only have two speakers, but we ended up with three."  Ginny bends back down to hold Christopher's hand since he is reaching out for her.  "I really enjoyed myself, I am so glad that I came.  These last two days have been so very important to me," Teri answers Ginny who is consumed with little Christopher.  Ginny looks up and says, "I don't normally do this, but if you ever need a babysitter please give me a call."  Ginny reaches in her pocket and gives her a business card.  "I really do love this little boy!"  Ginny takes Teri’s number down then  gives Teri a quick hug and heads back into the lodge. 

Smiling Teri goes to her car.  Today is turning out to be a good day.  In order to maximize her time, Teri has to head back home, reorganize and make her home and life better.  Enthusiastically she starts her tape recorder and drives back home.  Stopping at a convenience store she buys some supplies and food then proceeds home. 

On a mission, she takes little Christopher out of his car seat, and brings him inside then goes back out for her supplies.  She works diligently the rest of the day and throughout most of the night.  Exhausted she takes a moment to look around at all of her work before laying down on the living room floor next to Christopher who has also helped whether she wanted his help or not. 

Teri has covered all of the key areas of the house with poster board paper.  Some papers are filled with encouraging scriptures that she intends to memorize and or read daily.  Other papers have specific topics on them and are not completely filled up, so that she can continue to write key verses down on them as she finds them.  Teri also creates a symbolic picture to remind her of her renewed love for her son and God, which Christopher helped to make by accidentally spilling the yellow paint over the final drawing.  She put that picture above her bed.  That night Teri holds little Christopher close and sleeps peacefully.

When Teri finally does wake up, a happy Christopher greets her.  Smiling he touches her nose.  Not knowing what else he is going to do to her face, Teri pulls her head back.  He sits up and in his own special language starts talking and pointing at the poster paper that is hanging above them.  Smiling she remembers all of the work that she has done the night before.  Since Jason left, the house no longer feels like a home, but now with all of the poster size paper with encouraging words scattered precisely placed throughout the house, the entire atmosphere of the home no longer feels so cold.  Teri is finally starting to feel uplifted, motivated and encouraged. 

Picking up little Christopher, she goes through the house reading from the various papers and pointing them out to Christopher.  On the last piece of paper, Christopher decides that he will read it.  He starts pointing and talking.  Teri smiles and nods as if she knows what he is saying.  Recognizing that she has turned her house into a breeding ground for change and of positive energy Teri smiles as she looks at her new home.  Proud of herself, she continues to smile as she goes to the bathroom to get ready for church.  Temporarily all of her troubles seem to melt away.  She has finished brushing her teeth and washing her face and was just about to wash little Christopher off when the phone rings.  Automatically she goes to the bedroom to answer the phone.

"Hello," she says as she looks at the Caller ID.  "Hey!  How are you doing?  I have been trying to get in touch with you, what have you been doing?"  Keisha says.  Before Teri can answer, Keisha is already talking again.  "Now you know I am not one who beats around the bush.  Guess who I saw yesterday?”  Again before Teri has a chance to speak Keisha continues.  “Your husband!  And Teri, he was not alone.  I wanted to let you know."  Immediately Teri's heart drops. 

"Everyone saw him, and he was not trying to hide.  So I approached him and the ugly, anorexic chick he was with.  I asked him how you and the baby are doing.  He just frowned up and didn’t say anything.  Since he didn't feel the need to be ashamed, I decided to help him.  I told him that only little boys, wait till after their wife have their babies, then start dating one.  The girl had a sour look on her face so I told her that he is married, and only cheap whores have to chase after married men. 

I was so happy because she stood up, but when she saw I was anxious for her to say something, she sat back down.  Of course I kept talking, but then everyone started to come over.  Needless to say they both left.  Girl, I wanted to be the first to tell ya what happened.  I am so sorry!"  Teri doesn’t know what to say.  Knowing that words has escaped her Keisha continues again.  "Is he there right now; is that the reason why you're not saying anything?"  Sitting down on her bed, Teri softly replies, "No."

"Good!  Now tell me what you need me to do?  I just can't stand cheating husbands!  I will help you.  First, you need to get as much money as you can out of his accounts.  Open up your own bank account.  Break anything that is important to him.  Max out all of his credit cards that are only in his name.  Do not sleep with him and you need to get yourself checked out.  Finally you need to get yourself the best lawyer his money can buy!"  Furious Teri lashes out, "I hate him!  Why did he have to do this?  I seriously hate him!"

"I know!  Men cannot be trusted, but that's okay, cuz now it’s time to show him what happens when you hurt a real woman.  Why don't you come over and we can come up with a plan to get him back!"  Teri nods, "Yeah, I'll be right over."  Teri hangs up the phone, puts on her favorite sweats that are on the floor, picks up Christopher, grabs his diaper bag and heads for the door.  When she puts her hand on the door knob, instantly she is confronted face level with the words "God direct my steps!"  Pausing, Teri stops mid step and contemplates the words.  When a picture of Jason kissing another woman in front of her friends flashes through her mind, instantly Teri closes her eyes and walks through the door. 

It takes her 15 minutes to get to Keisha's apartment that is around 28 minutes away.  Teri does not have to ring the buzzer.  Keisha, is watching through the window and buzzes her in immediately.  Coming down the hall with tissue in hand, Keisha hugs her and grabs the diaper bag.  "I can not believe it when I saw him hugged up on that chick like that.   The bastard!"  Teri immediately updates Keisha on what has been happening to her the last couple of months.  Teri sobs as she tells her how Jason denies cheating on her, but how he abruptly left after she confronted him.  They divided everything on the spot and how she believes he purposely took some of her personal things. Teri ends by telling her that they are getting a divorce but with her situation at work, money and bills, she could not afford a divorce right now.  Keisha is shocked and furious.

"Are you serious?  You should have told me.  We could have gotten him good.  Is everything separated already, do we still have a chance to get him financially?"  Keisha asks as she leads them to her living room couch.  "Everything is already separated.  He has not left or given me a penny.” Angrily, Teri adds, “He has not given me any money, but he has time to spend money and go out with someone one else.  I hate him Keisha! I really hate him!  I do!  I want him to get AIDS and die!"  Keisha gives a rough smile, "Well then, let’s see how we can get that to happen."  Devilishly, Teri looks at her and laughs wickedly, which lets out her frustration.

"The thing that always puts me on the edge is thinking about him making love to another woman.  He says that he hasn't but then again he is a liar.  At this point, I just don't know anymore.  The thought of him sleeping with someone else immediately sends me through the roof!" Teri glares into Keisha's eyes.  "And the woman that he is with, I pray that she gets it too.  Then they both can go straight to hell."  Speaking in anger Teri gets up and starts to pace the room and biting her nails. 

"Okay, first of all I need to know if you know any information about any of the women that he has been seeing?"  Keisha says standing up as well.  "I only know about one of them.  She sent him a photo of herself naked.  I was mortified.  It was on his cell phone.  I sent it to myself so that I can confront him with…"  Before she can finish Keisha grabs her.  "Are you serious?  Do you still have the picture?"  Teri nods yes.  "Perfect!  I am so sick and tired of these little girls acting like prostitutes.  I know of the perfect way to at least get her back." 

The rest of the afternoon, they discuss how they will get her back.  When Keisha sees the picture of her, Keisha quickly identifies her as the girl she saw with Jason that evening.  Anger helps to keep Teri's fire burning, as they set everything up and sent it out.  Once everything is complete, Keisha turns to Teri and says, "Now that we have taken care of her, tomorrow we can concentrate on Jason.  Let’s sleep on it and come together to see how many ways we can make him feel sorry for what he has done to you." 

Rubbing her eyes, Teri sits back on the computer chair and says, "I just can not believe that she is only 17.  I am so glad that I got so much information on her.  This is really going to wipe her out.  The perfect thing about it is that she will never know who did it.  Jason is such a pervert!  I expected to find out that she is only 15 or 13.  But your right it's late so let's get together tomorrow and set out to get him." 

Teri packs up her stuff and little Christopher who is asleep on the floor, and begins to leave as she comments, "I just wish Jason had more money so that I can hurt him by taking it all."  Keisha smiles devilishly and says, "Don't you know that taking his little money makes it even worse.  Taking money from him that he needs to take care of bills is worse than taking his spending money."  That put a smile back on Teri’s face.  They hug and Teri leaves. 

Making a stop to rent a couple of movies, Teri browses the various aisles looking for ‘I hate men’ movies to help keep her momentum going.  She already has five in her hand and contemplating a six when she hears her name.  Turning around she sees Ginny.  Smiling, Teri goes over to her.  "Hi Ginny!  It's good to see you.  Christopher is asleep."  Teri points to Christopher sleeping in his transportable baby car seat.  Ginny smiles as she bends down to look him over anyway.  She stands back up still smiling.  "He is just so beautiful.  You are so lucky!"  Teri smiles as she looks at Christopher with pride. 

"Wow, you have a lot of movies!"  At first Teri feels uncomfortable, not wanting Ginny to see the type of movies she is choosing.  "Yeah, I know, but I don't have movie channels and I don't have to work tomorrow so this is what I'll be doing."  She smiles weakly.  Ginny laughs, "I know what you mean.  That's why I'm here too.  Since I'm not married anymore, I guess I should grab more than you."  Suddenly Teri feels bold.  "Actually, I am in the middle of a divorce."  Stunned, Ginny's smile fades away.  "Oh, I didn't know.  I'm so sorry!"  With confidence, Teri responds.  "Don't be sorry!  He is the one who is gonna be sorry, when I get through with him."  Ginny is quiet as Teri tells her of her plans to get him back.

Teri ends with, “he’ll be sorry that he has ever messed with me.  And I decided that if he does want to be with me, then he will have to get a tattoo, either with my entire name on his ring finger or the words ‘womanizer’ on his forehead.  That will be perfect because either way he will be labeled.  And I’d have to be in the tattoo parlor because he is scared of needles.”  Teri is beaming with pride, but Ginny shakes her head disappointedly.

"Teri I know that this is none of my business, but as someone who has already gone through a divorce, I just want you to know that getting him back won't bring life back to your home.  I know."  Ginny hangs her head low.  "I got my ex-husband back!  I got everything, including the kitchen sink, but in the end, he still got me back worst.  Not only did he marry her, but also they are going to have a baby together.  That wouldn’t be so bad, but having kids is one of the biggest reasons why we got divorced in the first place.  I am the one who wants children and he didn't.  To make matters worst, I was the one that pushed for the divorce.  I thought that would break him into wanted children and he it did, just not with me."  Her pain is transparent in her voice. 

Ginny looks up as the glistening of tears swell in her eyes.  "So be careful, what you do.  The lesson that I learned, is that you can never really get a man back, because, you usually care more than he does.  So even if you break them or really hurt them, they have a tendency to get you back."  Ginny pauses and shakes her head then adds.  "I was so proud of myself; I was driving around in his red, two seater, convertible, luxury, sports car that he loved more than life itself.  He only had it a couple of months, and he basically washed it daily.  Even when he hadn't driven it and it didn't need to be cleaned, he was still out there, playing and day dreaming with it.  So I made a point to get it through the divorce and when I got it I purposely would drive it around town after the divorce, hoping he would see me and cry.