She has been driving for 15 minutes before she realizes she did not know where she is going.  She passes Christopher's daycare and is on the road that leads to her workplace, immediately she decides to head to the church.  Teri is so angry.  How dare he come to her house—the home he is no longer helping to pay for and accuse her of keeping the baby away from him? 

By the time she reaches the church Teri is amazed at how many other cars are there.  She sits in the car awhile thinking about the things that she should have said to him.  With everything that she is going through, she knows she is hanging on by a very thin thread.  Dealing with him at all, is more than she can take at the moment.  "Analyzing men can drive a woman crazy," she says to herself aloud.  She would have stayed there in her car longer, but Christopher is getting restless and begins crying as he tries to get out of his car seat.  Snapping her back into the moment, she gets out and takes Christopher into the church. 

She hears voices so she peeks in the fellowship hall.  There are several men there obviously having a meeting.  She walks to the secretary’s office and sees Sister Kelly at the computer typing.  "Hello Sister Kelly!"  She says with a huge smile.  Sister Kelly looks up and turns around.  Immediately she gets up and gives Teri a big hug. She then asks, "What's going on in the fellowship hall?"  Sister Kelly replies brotherhood meeting today.  I am typing some revisions they just made.  I'll be done in a little bit." 

Sister Kelly sitsback down and starts typing again.  "How are you and lil’ Christopher doing dear?"  Sister Kelly asks as she quickly types up the rest of their numerous changes.  "Oh I'm fine," she replies.  Right away Sister Kelly stops typing and looks up at her; she gives her a compassionate smile and continues typing.  When she finishes Sister Kelly brings it in to the men then comes back and sits down next to Teri. 

She sits there for a few seconds then asks, "Have you been working on your homework?"  Teri immediately beams, then nods and says "Oh, yes!” This assignment is really a test of the soul."  Sister Kelly laughs.  "I'm glad, well you keep going.  The end result will be worth all of the analyzing, testing and understanding.  That is why we meet on Tuesdays and Thursdays that way everyone has enough time to make sure things get planted and settled into the depths of your soul.  I am proud that you found yourself there and ultimately coming to these meetings."

  Sister Kelly picks up Christopher who is getting into the trash and gives him love.  When Teri notices she thanks her pulling out a toy from the diaper bag and gives it to him.  "My husband stopped by my house unannounced.  It really shook me up.  Sister Kelly, I really appreciate you being here.  I am trying to stay focused.  Actually I am trying to get caught up, and consumed by God.  I don't want to become an alcoholic.  In my younger days I use to loose myself drinking. 

I went to college and that is when I started drinking.  There is so much experimenting going on there; my choice drug is flavorful alcohol."  Teri puts her head down and says, "My freshmen year, I was so excited to be there.  I was finally on my own.  I was staying in the dorms I had a little brown beat up car and so many big ideas and dreams that I could not wait to achieve them or keep my big mouth shut.  My roommate was from New York, but to me she was from a different world. 

She knew so much; I was actually intimidated by her.  I had always had excellent marks, but I was not street smart, mainly because when my mother and I moved back in with my grandparents, I finally had a good home life, so I was at home most of the time.  I really didn't run the streets.  I had decided early that I was going to become someone great and I didn't have time to mess around.  But I didn't realize that I was so sheltered until I met my roommate.  I felt dumb for the first time.  At first I was hitting the books and going to class but by the end of the first quarter I was trying harder to fit in. 

One night I decided to go with her to a demonstration meeting.  At first everything was going well, then the police came and it quickly became ugly.  I was so scared; I had never been involved with something like that before.  A guy grabbed my hand and showed me an exit and I ran so hard to keep up with him.  We ended up in his apartment.  I slept there and he walked me back to the dorms the next morning.  That experience should have put me back on the right track, but it didn't.  I kept going with my roommate to different things and in the middle of the second quarter, we were in a rough neighborhood trying to get into a secret club to meet her boyfriend. 

We got into the club but the men there were older, drunk and disgusting.  We were both scared and tried to leave, but her boyfriend found us, grabbed us and took us to his table.  To this day I still don't know why she even liked him.  She is so pretty and he was so tasteless and quite ugly.  He was trying to push me off on his friend, but I just wanted to leave.  So we went back to his apartment and played some music and drank. 

When we got tired, they told us it was too late to drive and that we could just sleep in their bedroom.  So we slept in the bedroom and they slept on the couch.  In the middle of the night, her boyfriend comes in and they move over to the other side of the room.  I am completely shocked and try to mentally not be there.  I cover my ears, put the covers over my head and press my head into the pillow.  This was not an easy task, because the pillow smelt of cheap cologne and alcohol.  I was working so hard at this, I did not notice the other man coming in."  Teri stops as the rest of the memory plays through in her head.  Sister Kelly hands her a tissue.  "Needless to say, she left school 3 days later.  I never saw her again.  After that I start really drinking. I drank myself right out of college in the middle of my sophomore year." 

  She looks up into Sister Kelly's eyes.  "I don't want to drink, but at times it just seems so hard.  It's just so easy to put your problems down for just a second and to drift away to another place, even if for only a moment.  I know that I have a love, hate relationship with drinking.  I love getting lost in it as the bad memories melt away.  But it also reminds me of that horrible night and dropping out of school.  The more it seems that I hate it the more I tend to use it.”  Teri sits back in her chair and lets out a long breath of frustration.  “This is the first time, in a long time that I am doing everything in my power, not to drink." 

Putting little Christopher down, Sister Kelly puts her hand on Teri's shoulder.  "I can show you scriptures like your body is God's temple, but what you need is the edified revelation version.  Teri, why do you think, I keep saying I'm proud of you?"  This question makes Teri look up and focus in, because Teri has never really thought about it.  After awhile Sister Kelly breaks Teri’s concentration by saying, "I say this because I can see your struggle.  A gift that I have is discerning of spirits.  Beloved, you have so many spirits lingering around you.  So I am absolutely thrilled that you are not letting them control you.  Instead you are fighting and what you don't fully understand is that this is how you will win. 

You have to dive completely and totally in God.  And that is what you are doing.  In a manner of speaking and for visual sake--nothing will be able to push you down toward the depths of hell, when you are connecting yourself to heaven above."  Sister Kelly then puts her hand on top of Teri’s hands.  "Teri you are doing so well, and even though the spirits are lingering around, soon they will depart as the bright light of God, shines through their darkness.  You are so close, so don't get discouraged.  You have to encourage yourself, only you can do this in order for you to be successful. 

I will say this to you.  When things get hard or so tough that you feel you can't think.  This is the time that the spirits are pushing and waiting for.  When you don't think, those demonic spirits do the thinking for you, and of course it is not in your best interest.  So when you get to that point, close your eyes if possible, shutting everything out and just say ‘Jesus’ over and over again until you feel set free.  There is so much power in the name of Jesus’ all you have to do is say it once, but for your sake you might need to keep repeating it until it comes upon you.  The anointing will come up and on you.  Force yourself to remember in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead; this will help save you from your troubles.  You'll know that there is amazing power on your side, helping you through." 

Teri shakes her head understandingly then takes in a deep breath and just sits there adding Jesus to her thoughts.  The most overpowering thought is to go over to Keisha's place.  Teri mentally tries to manipulate this thought to ‘I can go over to Keisha's place and talk to her about Jesus.’  Then reality sets in as Teri thinks, ‘I'll tell her about Jesus and she will think I'm a hypocrite.  How can we stay friends if after all that we did I go over to her place preaching Jesus—she’ll disown me as a friend.  I'll just have to pray for her.  I'll continue to try to get Keisha saved, just not now. Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! 

The thought of tracking Keisha down to force Jesus down her throat is very unappealing to Teri, which stops her urge to go over there and vent about Jason.  She tilts her head and shakes it in approval.  This Jesus thing did work.  She no longer feels like going over there, but she does still feels guilty for not praying for Keisha.  So she says a quick prayer and makes a mental note to really make sure to help lead her to Christ when this thing is all over or when Teri is really strong enough. 

Teri notices that her thoughts, even if it was brief, were not surrounded or consumed by Jason, which makes her happy.  Then she hears a man's voice making her turn around as she mentally comes back into the room.  He is speaking to Sister Kelly, who is playing with Christopher, about more revisions.  Teri thanks her for all of her help, gets the baby and heads toward her car, as Sister Kelly goes back to the computer.

After putting him in his baby car seat, Teri hops in and starts the car.  Glancing at the time, she frowns knowing that she has lost an entire hour.  Now she might get caught in lines and will probably hit the Saturday rush.  Finally focused, Teri is able to get everything on her task list accomplished.  Including getting more ice cream.  By the time she reaches the house her mind is clear as she tries to remember to keep saying Jesus. 

She cooks lunch for them and while they eat she looks over her budget.  If she loses her job, she will have to make sure they are living way under budget now, as much as possible.  Teri knows she will have to get her resume out as soon as possible regardless of getting laid off.  She has already started stretching her budget.  Relooking at everything she knows she will only have 2 months before she will really feel the affects of no steady income. 

When Christopher finishes she quickly cleans him up and puts him down in his play area and continues working on her budget.  She comes up with three forecasts—worst case, best case and most likely.  When she finishes she feels a twinge of nervousness as she looks over the end results, Teri quickly says, “Jesus” to help calm her nerves.  She keeps saying it as she tries to make more cuts.  The more she thinks about tapping into her savings and still being short within 2-3 months, she is sadly grieved.  She has been saving for years and all she has to show for it is a couple of months. 

"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…" she starts saying aloud.  Her money will now have to cover bills that Jason use to handle.  How will she be able to put Christopher through school, since she is now having to use that money?  How will she retire?  Will she have to work hard for the rest of her life?  "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!"  She starts saying louder.  Eating at her nails nervously she looks at the final results again as more dire questions pop into her head.  What if the money runs out sooner?  What will she do?  How will they eat?  Where will they live?  Feeling the tears swelling in her eyes, she tries to focus on Sister Kelly's words.  Closing her eyes and saying "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" over and over again, she keeps repeating his name.